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Harry Wormwood: Isn't there some more? Yes, Miss Trunchbull. . Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". MISS HONEY Bruce! Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? DOCTOR It's from the library! And I will Teach you a thing or two. Fortunately, almost everything in Christianity is sin. . You what? Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. Just knock on the door. Agatha Trunchbull: You're the spitting image. And sailed high up, up above the stands My, my, that is good. You gotta be loud! Maybe. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? I got carried away. MRS WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: . . in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! 2. Instead, she's found me. [to MATILDA] This is your fault. Are you a pig, Amanda? The ESCAPOLOGIST starts to walk in from the back of the stage. A boy with no fingie? [He laughs then peters out.] Sixteen times two is thirty-two. It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge. Trunchbull: You? "Escapologist", he says! Fourteen times two is twenty-eight. [to Zinnia] BRUCE And this . 4. MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. Now get out. google_color_border="EDC7C2"; You and your father think you can make a fool out of me! Trunchbull: You gotta give yourself permission to shine. [whacks the desk again with her riding crop]. Your genius husband is going to sell them one hundred and fifty five knackered old bangers as brand-new luxury cars. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? And if it's not right, When the hinges creak and the door is closed, Best dirty pick-up lines 1. The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. [He brings out a load of cash and starts leafing through it.] Oh . MR WORMWOOD Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Absolute silence. You useless, used-car-salesman scum! Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids] MISS TRUNCHBULL And you won't be getting "right" there, oh no. . You did this! (Bruce!) She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. Oh my. guy . That was Miss Honey. With your stupid books and your stupid reading. Keep out of reach of children. Agatha Trunchbull: and astronauts! Who do you think I am, Miss Honey? Yourself, Matilda? The endings are often a little bit gory! Even if you're little, you can do a lot. have you read a whole book? Look, Miss Snit, a girl does not get anywhere by acting intelligent! the Acrobat's sister, a frightening woman who used to be an Olympic-class hammer-thrower, who loved nothing better than to scare the children of the town. Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. The group sets off party poppers down the line. Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. AAAHH! Once Agatha Trunchbull decides you're guilty, you're , BIG KID [TAMIKA] Agatha Trunchbull: Are you crying? They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. MISS HONEY MR WORMWOOD Please, stand, and do as much as you can. No one's gonna tell you when to shake your tush. Miss Honey: Ah-ah-aah-ah. Of course they didn't believe me: I've got green hair! [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] A weakling? MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD Watch as her eyes light up and her smile turn into an impressed grin. Mrs. D? Leave it alone, Jenny. Won't change a thing. PICK UP LINES! As long as you enjoyed the cake. . Don't waste this. Chocolate cake. Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. AAHHH! Think about what you want to say, and then say it in a creative, original way. I'm not paying it. Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Why don't you run away? xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i The vanity rises again, signifying morning. It's the Trunchbull's speciality. See how they shine? With her, it's all "books" and "stories". You have to force the little squits to toe the line! The biggest burp I had ever heard about! [turns to Michael] In . The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. ACROBAT [off-stage] ALICE and HORTENSIA Don't take me to Chokey! Now, can anyone read this? Quick, jackets! But the "tomato" is a very good word. Trunchbull: Put your light on. MISS HONEY Well? That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball. Go on, Brucey! . Where he's been for the last hour, actually. MRS WORMWOOD Hm? Jack and Jill went up the hill . I'm sure you'd , MR WORMWOOD It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. This must confirm, Bruce, You didn't like the chokey, did you? And I will teach you a thing or two. MISS TRUNCHBULL Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? You don't need happiness or self-esteem. Matilda: And yet every single life, MRS PHELPS . AAAAAHHHHH! No one's going to look if you don't stand out. . DOCTOR Ah-ah-aah-ah No! MISS TRUNCHBULL She's reading a book. CHILDREN 1 [to MATILDA] You! Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! Her father was a doctor, and he needed someone to look after things at home. A little less fact, a lot more feel. [TV Version] I stole the cake. Because basically a sentence is just a big bunch of words. Agatha Trunchbull: Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". And if it's not right, When I look in your eyes, I see a very kind soul. BRUCE WOMAN: Well, take another! I told them, I said, "Hey. Oil of Violets hair tonic. MATILDA I love books. Narrator: Children are maggots! Agatha Trunchbull: MAN: I think he blinked. The room freezes as MISS TRUNCHBULL starts to write the word "GUILTY" on the board. What on earth did you do that for? Mrs. [picks up two bowls of cereal] I broke your arm once before; I can do it again, Jenny. "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". All grown-ups get scared, just like children. You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, And if you cry it will be double. And you may sit and read while I teach the others, and, well, if you have any questions, I shall do my best to answer them. You are a thief! And Jenny's outside. abilities. The secret to my success is this. Past Lavender. Can't you sell good cars, Dad? The end is happier. She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. FBI Agent Bob: Lights up. Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? MATILDA Matilda: MRS WORMWOOD Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! MATILDA Ahh! ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Go on, then! MR WORMWOOD In a manner of speaking, yes. Loud, loud, loud, loud! One look at my face and it's plain to see. MISS HONEY My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. NIGEL A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. MATILDA . But even you, Bruce, The most beautiful miracle I have ever seen! [speaking to Matilda about her and her father] What about rules, Honey? [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. A child. Hello! The cars will break down. Zinnia Wormwood: [She presses an intercom on her desk.] DOCTOR And I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the entire cake. That's all right, Jenny. A few! "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." Miracle! If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you. Yes, sir. Sued by who? Are you looking for a good amount of pickup lines. Whatever you do, just don't give in. Come stai? But I . MATILDA But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. . Now, that is how you do it! [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. the Acrobat's sister. ], CHILDREN An audience cheers. DOCTOR She sat down, and when she got up . You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. And right now, we are eating dinner and watching TV! Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. He stands up on a block. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. My daddy says I'm his special little . [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] . An idiot? Everybody loves a little something exotic. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. Just you wait for phys-ed! Can you service me? That is a promise. There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. Harry Wormwood: He takes it and squashes it firmly down onto his head. And if I couldn't teach, I'd have nothing at all. MRS WORMWOOD Mine are driving me crazy. MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. I'm the best! PERSPERATION! [She gets on all fours as RUDOLPHO rides her like a horse.] I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! So, erm . DOCTOR We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, Harry Wormwood: ], MISS HONEY Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. Go on. [he, Zinnia, and Mikey glance at the paper, then at Matilda] Agatha Trunchbull: BIG KIDS Ooh, me, me, me, miss! The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". My daddy says I would be the teacher's pet! Another flaming book? Ciao, Rudolpho. In the cupboard. MISS TRUNCHBULL She misses me so much. Mr. Wormwood: What? For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. A little less dressing like your mum. FBI Agent Bob: There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . BIG KID [BEN] On a boat, in a car, with your toes all curled - Oh, the places we'll go when I rock your world. Is the first word . Get up, get up, get out of here, give me that book. "tomato"? I mean, my mum wanted me to stay at home with her. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. He's my dance partner. Okay! ;)Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our. Young lady, where were you? MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Bruce Bogtrotter: Hmm. A little less head, a lot more derriere. Back before my life had eNded, MR WORMWOOD MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. Good Lord, woman, have you started already? If you always take it on the chin and wear it, 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? Miss Honey: Like you, I was (Q) curious, RUDOLPHO dances across the back of the stage. Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. Some rats are gonna die today. The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. MRS PHELPS She has never seen a! MATILDA starts pouring the hair dye into the Oil of Violets bottle. You should stay out of trouble 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. If you sit around and let them get on top, you MATILDA and ACROBAT [off stage]"It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". Matilda : I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. "Bambinatum est magitum." I can't find his frank 'n' beans! Yes. 3 0 obj Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! All escapes start with the click of a lock. . So she's learned a few tricks. This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. We can have our cake and it it too! The fibers fused to my hair! google_color_text="5F6A72"; [looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us] A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. You have to put it right. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! That's exactly what you've done. MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. You are a teacher. MISS TRUNCHBULL What? Even me. You're getting on a plane, Mrs Wormwood? Look at that! "It is our destiny ". There is a spotlight on BRUCE as he begins to talk. Did you see all those packages outside? MATILDA collects two dolls from the house. [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. Boys and girls! A storm can begin with the flap of a wing. Yourself, Matilda? MISS TRUNCHBULL Mum, would you like to hear a story? Look what you've done, you stupid woman. MR WORMWOOD The 3rd cost $68. Where'd all this come from? MISS HONEY How about this. MATILDA She uses them to carry on a conversation. Yeah, it was, er [He gestures to the lackey.] Matilda: Oh, of course. You should be embarrassed. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. MATILDA MR WORMWOOD Harry Wormwood: I can see we're not going to agree, are we? A party entertainer enters with balloons. Just knock on the door. This calls for a proper smoke. Matilda Wormwood is an exception . That is v . Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. in a week. [Talking about the cake] Agatha Trunchbull: Aaaargh! Zinnia Wormwood: I'm the best! My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. I think she might be an idiot. Dinner time is family time. DOCTOR Over a drink. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. BIG KID [TAMIKA] MISS TRUNCHBULL If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, [She flicks on the light of the vanity in her parent's bathroom, which has risen from the stage. Nonsense. A person. Bruce Bogtrotter: [His stomach growls.] Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". Six times two is twelve. Let's leave maths for the time being . I mean, take a look at you and me. But to me, they tell a deeper story. Just because you find that life's not fair, it COUPLES A table with the word "Contest" emblazoned on the side is wheeled in. MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. What am I? Agatha Trunchbull: MRS WORMWOOD ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] [strikes a desktop with her riding crop and all the children instantly face forward] You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! If you are having fun, you are not learning. The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. | Yes! BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? Yes. endobj Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. You could have heard a fly burp. Stop being pathetic, Jenny. Her mind? It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? MISS TRUNCHBULL Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. DOCTOR MATILDA I don't know what you're talking about. AAAIIGHHH! And it isn't wide enough to sit. MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; No one's gonna care if you don't care, MISS HONEY hurries to pull the cap from NIGEL's mouth. You gotta be loud! I have the adoption papers. Apply just one simple rule MISS HONEY It's going to be brilliant! Don't tell me. You make money? Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. YoU listen here, my dear, MRS PHELPS screams and exits. Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. So you're Wormwood, are you? He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." Matilda? That didn't happen. . NIGEL Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. Shut up! A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. MRS WORMWOOD [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] Oh, my lovely hair! <>>> . When I'm finished with you, you're gonna look like roadkill! NIGEL That is the biggest hug in the world. Mr. Wormwood. Is like the TARDIS: Amanda Thripp: I . "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". There's more the second part. This living 'ell. This is the worst day of my life! . Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. The gate rolls away. But I didn't do anything. Antibiotics, or . Oh, you stupid man. Life's a ball, so learn to throw it, She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . Miracle! I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. MR WORMWOOD A spotlight searches the theater. The entire assembly will stay five hours after school and copy from the dictionary! Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives.